“No.” “No.” “No!”
I hear it all the time from my almost two year old so why is it so hard for me to say?
I am a people pleaser. Making others proud in things that I have done, hurdles I have conquered, and tasks I have accomplished gives me the drive to do more. It is my nature to make sure that everyone I know and love is happy and healthy – even if it is at the expense of ME. I always tell myself “I’ll just say no next time,” or I come up with a way to validate my tiredness and anxiety through the satisfaction of others. Well, in 2018, my resolution is to do less of what I think makes others happy and more of what I know makes me happy. What does that look like?
Fewer Voluntary Obligations
I may have to back out of a few long standing obligations that just aren’t as fulfilling at this stage of my life. Although great causes, if I am not 100% invested, am I then really just doing a disservice to those volunteer positions? Maybe it’s time for a fresh face in that arena anyway.
Limiting Extra Curricular Activities
There’s no reason my daughters need 174,357,261 things to do after a full school day or taking up their entire weekend. I will have them pick their favorite activity and stick with just one. If they want to switch it up next year, that’s okay too, but let’s save our mileage and pocketbook and bring it down a notch on all the “extras” by saying “no” to some.
Doing Work AT Work
While this is an aspiration of mine, I do absolutely love working. I have the best job in the world! I want to work 24/7, but I know that isn’t healthy. I have been adamant about not letting work ever affect evening time with the girls, but it definitely cuts into my “hubby-n-me time” when I’m strategizing for the next day instead of snuggling on the couch and recharging. I need to say “no” to the urge to work All. The. Time.
More Quality Time
Saying “no” doesn’t always mean saying “no” right? What I mean is I want to say “yes” to more quality time. Quality time spent with family and friends – together and separately. I want to go on more date nights, even coffee dates, with my husband and actually have adult conversation. I want to have more girls’ nights and lunches where we laugh until we cry, or we cry until we laugh – whatever we need to do that particular day! I want to have family game nights and read to my children more. I want to get into a better bedtime routine and always sit together at the dinner table.