Welcome to the secret underworld of buy, sell, trading for moms. Hopefully you have read Rebecca’s breakdown here. She gave you the nut and bolts …However, I’m going to let you in on the “unspoken code.” Trust me, it exists.
Sometimes you accidentally fall into this rabbit hole, but more than likely, you’ve been brought in by someone else who’s already there. You aren’t quite sure what’s going on, but you watch in fascination. You begin to realize that there are players to this game and rules that aren’t actually written.
Let’s break them down…
- The “I’m here to watch and don’t get it”
- Follows but never buys
- Doesn’t have enough time to really work it.
If you come in as a newbie, you have two options. You either come in all guns blazing with a million questions and all sorts of “ideas and opinions” that you feel you should voice, or you take the smart route.
It’s a thing. You’re going to find out super quick that most BST boards move at blazing fast speeds. Before you’ve even deciphered the condition, someone else has posted sold and paid their invoice. You’re left with your head spinning. The BEST advice you can give a newbie is #LurkAndLearn. Even better? Find a mentor and bug the snot out of them via PM.
The everyday players:
- Daily wearers
- Purge stalkers
- Stain gurus
Their closets are decent sized and could probably, if sold in their entirety, could pay for a modest week’s vacation for their family. They know the brand and love it. They buy to wear and even eat in their clothes. They’ve #LurkedAndLearned. They watch the brand, dissected the sneaks, know the release schedules, can cart like ninjas, and they understand the underground BST etiquette. They have some cash flow and they use it. These people are your friend. Play nice.
The “real” players:
- Spreadsheet keepers
- Database and file junkies
- Expert purgers and packers
They love the brand for everyday wear, but they kick it up a notch. These people are taking their CEO skills and putting them to use. They invest by buying low and selling high. Their postman just leaves totes at the door because he knows their level well. They know the IRS rules for PayPal invoicing and keep an eye on it. Their closets could probably fund a small used car within a day if needed.
- The Original Gangsters of the brand
They’ve either been here from the start or they have accumulated a closet that is made of dreams. You watch in awe at the things they own and wish you were their friend.
Etiquette is LIFE
If you want to survive in this world, you have to understand the unspoken code. I have the top 10 absolute DO’s and DON’Ts in the BST world if you want to survive.
1. DO NOT hijack a post. You need an ISO? Make your own post ~ absolutely NO following for passes. That’s super tacky. Get your own post like should get your own room.
2. DO NOT list something as NWT (even if the tag is still attached) if your child wore it for pictures. That is EUC no matter what. It was worn ~ be honest. We can see your profile picture.
3. DO NOT say “Following” on a sale post. For real … following for what? You waiting for me to put it on sale? This is not K-Mart. There is no blue light. Move on.
4. DO NOT post sold pending asking your husband. If you have to stop and go get him to ask permission or pay him in advance … Just no. Don’t do it.
5. DO read the rules and study the condition acronyms (IE: NWT ~ new with tags not never worn twice)
6. DO NOT make an offer unless it’s stated OBRO via PM. And you see that by PM? By PM … and do not lowball. Unspoken rule of thumb is no more than 10 percent.
7. DO NOT call dibs on something someone else just bought. Some boards have close to 100,000 members. I promise you that when that person’s child grows out of said piece of clothing in 6-12 months, they will not remember you.
8. DO communicate with your seller. Shipping is normally built into the sale price. Most sellers ship the slowest way. If you need something sooner, ask before purchasing to guarantee they can and are willing to do it. Do not purchase then message asking them to ship out the next morning ~ nothing annoys a seller faster. We all have kids and families. Once again ~ read the rules on shipping time frames in your groups.
9. DO NOT make pricing comments. No one cares what you think you can get that for at Walmart. This isn’t bargain shopping. We’re BSTing. It is HUGELY frowned upon and often grounds for being permanently banned if you make a pricing comment.
10. DO make friends. These women – the ones in BST that get it – they really get it. They understand supply and demand. They get the idea of limited releases driving PSN. They bond over small things. Like black and blue dresses worn for Leo’s. Birthday dresses and which shoe matches better than others. They are also some of the smartest and most generous women I know. They send sussies and sweet notes in their packages. They support each other. They will reach out to you. They balance out their funding sales with PIFs. They find families that need help, make Amazon lists and fill them. Good BST karma begets good BST karma.
People who understand all of this … who take the time to know the rules and respect them, who invest in a brand … these ladies are the ones who find amazing friendships. I’ve had friends drive in from all over to see me and I’ve driven just to see them.
BST is an amazing community and I hope you find a place and a circle of friends to share your crazy with. This blog post is dedicated to those ladies that make up mine. Love y’all! #ItsMoreThanClothes