It’s the holiday season, and while I dream of living in a world filled with peace, joy, love and harmony … especially during this holly jolly season, the truth is crappy comments can come out.
Crappy comments are those comments you make that kinda slip out of your mouth during a malfunction with your filter.
They are the comments that:
- You wish you could retract.
- You did not really mean to say … at least not out loud.
- Hurt the people you love.
- Hurt you, because you know once you say them you really cannot take them back.
If not addressed head on, those crappy comments can cause long term damage to your loved ones and your relationships.
There are times in our life when we are more vulnerable to spitting out a crappy comment than others. No matter nice you are, how much you love Jesus, or how much you believe in love, kindness, forgiveness, peace and harmony, at some point in your life, you will probably make a crappy comment that is going to really hurt someone you love.
Given the combination of holiday stress, work and life demands, and probably too little sleep, ’tis the season you might accidentally make a crappy comment.
How do I know this? Because just a few months ago, after a long week of work, too little sleep and feeling totally overwhelmed, I made a crappy comment to someone I love … and it hurt them.
Seeing them hurt, hurt me. I was sorry.
In my mind, I had a list of “justifications” on why I made that crappy comment. But the truth is, that crappy comment had no place in our relationship and instead of trying to over explain why I made that crappy comment and justify my actions, I decided to do what I knew I was called to do.
As my dad once told me, “Time for you to eat humble pie and say you are sorry.”
So, I did not try to justify or explain why I made that crappy comment. I simply said,
“I’m very sorry for what I said. That was really crappy of me. I understand you are hurt and hope you can forgive me.”
After you do this you move onto the next hard steps:
- Keep your mouth closed.
- Don’t justify your actions.
- Honor and respect the person’s feelings that you hurt.
- Give them space to process and heal.
And if you are that person who received the crappy comment, know it is okay to take time to heal from the crappy comment. But I also hope you can forgive the person who made that crappy comment and not hold it over their head or continue to bring it up.
This holiday season, if you say something crappy, apologize.
If you received something crappy, forgive.
Leave the crap behind and instead celebrate, embrace and enjoy this breautiful life.