You’ve heard all about the trials and triumphs of parenthood and thought you were prepared, but the specific details were skimpy. Just when you think you are being zen and living in the moment, it’s the littlest thing that interrupts your flow. Don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Here is a random list of relatable parenting moments (both sweet and sour) I was not prepared for ::
Switching out car seats should really be added to some type of Crossfit work-out or something. I can’t tell you how many times I broke a sweat doing this hoping I was at least getting some leg or ab work in. #MomFit
When your kids start getting smart, you have to get smarter. You quickly learn to take a different route instead of passing in front of the playground at the park because you know they’ll ask a thousand times if they can go slide since they are old enough to remember and articulate their desires. Swerve.
Look, there comes a time when you realize it’s never too early to remind your kids that “Santa is watching.” You don’t want to overuse this. Choose wisely.
Anyone else play Rock, Paper, Scissors with their partners to see who will change the stank diaper?
When you’ve successfully rocked your baby to sleep for the first time, you feel a sense of accomplishment you’ve never felt before. You’re positive you’re a baby whisperer or something. Plus, they look like actual angels.
Sit on toilet … then you hear “Mom, can you open this yogurt?” “Mom, I need a band-aid.”
When you purposely forget to find your kids during Hide and Seek. “80 Mississippi…”
The days when bed time can’t come soon enough.
Eating all the good Halloween candy after they are in bed.
There is nothing wrong with giving away neglected toys when they aren’t home because the amount of crap that has accumulated in your home is driving you crazy. They will never even notice. Vacuum up that little toy when they aren’t looking!
So, they weren’t lying. Terrible 2’s is a real thing. Godspeed.
You just cleaned.
Kids are being so adorable it hurts, so you have an obligation to capture and share it. They stop the second you start recording. Every. Time.
The day your kid wakes up with morning breath is a sad, sad day.
Seriously though, magic erasers are the best invention ever. The crayon artwork is coming right off the walls after a good scrub! Now we just need something for permanent markers …
The love and respect you have for your partner is next level now that you’re parenting together. Also, you’re probably talking about your children’s bowel movements more than you want to.
You have a toddler who insists on buckling herself in because she’s a strong independent woman who doesn’t need her momma! And yes, you’re most definitely going to be late now.
Before I was a mom, I never knew I could ruin a life by giving my child the wrong color cup.
That moment when your kids are acting up and you aren’t exactly sure if parenting is for you.
It’s so awful when your kids are sick, but secretly we love all the snuggles.
Sometimes you find the quietest most cleanest room in the house and sit there until someone needs you.
Witnessing your kid learn a new skill or grasp a concept is so amazing and fun.
The science projects you discover when cleaning. One time I found a black banana in my car. I’ve never heard myself scream like that again.
I don’t care who you are, or how old you are. Baby farts are hilarious.
You secretly love when they mispronounce words because it’s adorable. Our twin girls say walrus instead of wasps and I hope that’s the case forever because, cher.
Your house, car and laundry room are a mess BUT everyone is fed and happy.
My favorite is, “Mom, I love you a million, ZILLION, dillion, hundred, hundred, hundred.” Now that’s a lotta love.